There’s something innate within us as human beings to live with pain. This can take all kinds of forms whether it be psychological, emotional, physical to name a few. Maybe it’s something to do with how society shapes us when we’re young or when our parents do the same. Young boys especially are told to be tough and whenever they’re hurt, to get up and dust themselves off. Girls in a sense aren’t as prepared or pushed to be ready for hardship. Thus we see often a paradox among the sexes whereby men don’t ask for help, and women sometimes choose to take the easy way out. But at the end of the day, no matter what gender you are or what kind of person you are you too can force yourself to live with pain. There are many complex reasons why we choose to not ask for help and suffer in silence. The elaborate ways we come up with coping are something that we should admire, but ultimately, we don’t have to live with pain.
Image by FOX
Socially awkward and gaming
Many people find they just don’t feel comfortable around other people. This may be because they’re shy, don’t like to talk much with strangers, find it difficult to find their place in a public conversation or perhaps don’t have the confidence. The first thing you need to do is know that you’re not the only one. In fact, there are many people that engage in public discourse while being shy and afraid to make a fool of themselves. Next, you need to stop putting so much pressure on yourself. Deep down you probably just want to be accepted for who you are and want people to like you. Well, it’s not their job to like you, and only you can accept who you.
In the age of gaming, there are ways to slowly but surely get better at communicating with others. With online gaming, people can talk to each other via a headset. You don’t see the person you just hear their voice so there isn’t really the pressure of forced discourse that you might have in public. There is no one forcing you to push or keep up with the narrative of the conversation. So you can use this platform to gradually come out of your shell. You’ll learn how to flow with a conversation, take your time and learn to relax and not be so self-conscious. The great thing about meeting people online is, you can easily spread into different friend circles and adapt to different kinds of personalities. Soon being comfortable within your own skin will flourish.
Not asking for help
Men are especially guilty of this but breaking this vicious merry go round is very difficult. Men don’t ask for help when they need it, even when they’re in pain. This isn’t something new and if society is going to genuinely try to help they have got to drop the modern scrutiny tactics. It unfortunate to admit but this is a way of coping that men are used to. Centuries don’t cut it but tens of thousands of years is more accurate with regards to how deep this trend is. Men are the protectors and providers in the traditional sense; therefore they feel as if they must be strong. Weakness is not just frowned upon but despised as something that will impact the lives of the tribe or wider society. This isn’t necessarily untrue, but the way men are choosing to go unnoticed is not at all healthy. So you have to make the first step but allowing a male figure in your life be it friends or family, the space and time to open up about their physical pains. Men must start to check themselves for testicular and prostate cancer as both these diseases take thousands of men’s lives every year.
Women also have their own standards which they feel must adhere to. If strength and bravery are the currency on which the male hierarchy is condensed of, then beauty is certainly part of the female hierarchy. Unfortunately, some women try to cover up their flaws rather than deal with them for the long run. A smile is incredibly important as this is can be an inviting gesture but also a standard upon which individual beauty might be judged. So if you know someone or are yourself suffering from a decaying smile or damaged teeth you should contact someone like a general dentist. This is great for those who want immediate and effective care as they do offer an emergency service.
Photo by pxhere
Letting go of childhood
All the great people in the world that are living or have ever lived will tell you how much an impact their childhood had on their life. We all are the same in this nature. It’s part and parcel of being the most complex living creature in the known universe. Bad childhood whereby your parents didn’t show you any love, was abusive and made you feel horrible are sad in many ways. For someone to have a child and not show it love and guidance is itself a disgusting act of possession and selfishness. On the other hand, it’s hard to say this, but you must not let the past determine your future; no matter how painful it is.
Find a way to give back to children who might be in the position you were. You can always be a personal mentor that gives kids life advice and is there as someone to talk to about anything. This can be done via the local healthcare service via voluntary programs. If you’re in contact with a friend or family member who is young and you suspect they might be having trouble at home, reach out to them and offer assistance of any kind you can. You can always go to charities and again volunteer to work for them in your spare time. In fact, many churches have these kinds of programs open where troubled children can come and let off some steam with games and activities.
It’s a tough task to look inwards and let down your guard. Everyone has some kind of vulnerability, and we find it easier to tuck this away into a corner of our mind rather than openly challenging it. Whoever you are, don’t make any excuses for living in pain, reach out for help and help others if you can.